Both Bob and Vickie travel frequently for work, and I always suspected they were getting together occasionally.
The sex then ended but the communication continued. This continued through her engagement, and possibly right up to her wedding. He was unattached she had a boyfriend but started sleeping with Bob on the side. “Bob” and “Vickie” worked together years ago. The same day my husband and I learned he has incurable brain cancer, I also learned he has been regularly seeing and texting his ex-lover, probably for the entirety of our 14 years together. Until manufacturers come up with a specialty vibrator safe, one of these should do. Then put your massager someplace your daughter can’t get it. Say you’re available to talk with her on this issue anytime, and also give a copy It’s Perfectly Normal or another straightforward book on sexual development, in case she has questions she doesn’t want to bring to you. Let her know that for countless millennia 11-year-olds have been mastering masturbation with just their hands and she should try that route. Tell her what’s she’s doing is perfectly normal, but she’s just too young to use an electronic device (frankly, it will be better for her not to get hooked on such powerful stimulation). Explain that she can no longer borrow the massager because it’s your personal item. Since she’s comfortable enough to come to you with her masturbatory misadventures, you should address the subject head on. That means she can’t just search your bedroom and take anything she pleases. You have to make clear to your daughter that while she’s entitled to some privacy, parents’ privacy rights trump kids’. The marijuana was in the underwear drawer.) It’s unsanitary physically and messy psychologically for you two to be sharing this magic wand. (Ah, the memories of the stuff under Mom and Dad’s bed! That’s where I discovered Human Sexual Response by Masters and Johnson and My Life & Loves by Frank Harris. I agree that your daughter has to explore her sexuality, but not by appropriating the goodies under your bed. No surprise she’s got sore muscles-as you’re finding out, she’s got a sore love muscle from all the battery-operated overuse. I love the idea of your little girl sighing over her aching sacroiliac in order to borrow Mom’s “back massager” for relief. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this column, it’s that vibrators have a yearning to wander and they end up in the darndest places. When I hide it, she asks for it, and I don’t want to give her any sense that she is doing something wrong. Again, I have no problem with her masturbation or discovery of her sexuality, but it just doesn’t seem right that it is with my massager. What should I do? I feel like she will continue to ask me for the massager and potentially use it for sexual pleasure. I told her that she needed to take it easy and that the massager should only be used on sore muscles. Last night she told me that she had used it on her genitals and that they were swollen and hurt. I don’t have any problem with her discovering her sexuality, but it seems awkward and inappropriate that she is using the instrument that I use. I just discovered she is also experimenting with it on her genitals. Recently, this back massager has been disappearing into my daughter’s room, where she says she uses it to massage her muscles. In fact, I use it during sex with my husband and for masturbation. I told her that it was for massaging sore muscles and this is, indeed, the way this massager is marketed. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion.Ī few years ago my now 11-year-old daughter found the “back massager” stowed under my bed. Got a burning question for Prudie? She’ll be online here on Slate to chat with readers each Monday at noon. Please send your questions for publication to.
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